After having brain surgery a lot of us come out...

After having brain surgery a lot of us come out with facial paralysis.... My surgery was a year ago and it is getting much better ....I also recommend using acupuncture to help speed up the damage.

I really think it helps !

I just want to take a minute to talk about others...

I just want to take a minute to talk about other people who have suffered with brain issues as myself. Seek help from the Cavernous Angioma Society, the Stroke societies. It can happen at any age and I have read stories about young children who are suffering with these traumas, soldies who have been blown up my IUDs , Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords who had been shot ,Senator Mark Kirk from Illinois, the star of Hercules Kevin Sorbo and the rock star Brett Michaels.

These are just a few names that I have mentioned, we are now all bonded with the suffering we have gone through.

But, thank you to the MRI machine and surgeons who are performing miracles everyday we are here.

Watch for warning signs....

Watch for warning signs such as vision issues, headaches, dizziness, anxiety attacks, high blood pressure, tendinitis, numbness, facial paralysis...

Anything unusual is your body trying to tell you we are in trouble...

After my surgery I no longer had high blood pressure, and tendinitis. I guess they were warning signs that I was missing....

How do you like this for a title of my blog/book?

Fear of Flying- Living with Vertigo....

How do you like this for a title of my blog/book?

Where does the word handicap come from?

Where does the word handicap come from? It means to hand the cap. Becasue people with disabilities were treated so poorly they were often left to the streets, put in mental wards or hidden away in the basement.

Fortunately, people with handicaps are now treated with more care and respect.

But, no surprise we still hear the words like retarded, mental case, looney.

So much is misunderstood.

I am 58 and it was not uncommom to laugh at people with disabilities.

I remember one day when the mean boys pulled down Dougie's pants so they could have a big laugh.

And now instead of getting better, the mean boys are worse than ever.

Now we have hazing and young people committing suicide because they have no one to turn too.

I hope this blog makes me people a little big more kind to their fellow human beings. It is time.

Where does the word handicap come from?

I have read a lot about the Holocaust....

I have read a lot about the Holocaust , something I will never understand about mankind. But, one picture stays in my mind. Glasses. The piles of glasses that were taken from Jewish citizens as they were forced into the concentration camps. Then, I look at my glasses and think how much I depend on them . How could they take them away? And that is just one of the small horrible things that was done by the Nazis, not to mention the endless torture and humiliation of 6 million people who called Europe their home.

Have you ever seen glasses taken away from people who rely on them to see?

Piles and piles of glasses.

Taking away their humanity away from them step by step by step.

I had a pirate party in my third year...

I had a pirate party in my 3 year after the major brain bleed....The double vision was much better even though I still needed to wear a patch and was still suffering with flying episodes, etc. But, I decided it was time to again use humor in a time of uncertainty. We had pirate decorations and passed out as many patches as I had. I always turn to humor when I am really afraid and need humor to get me through rough patches. It was great fun and little did I know that there were to be many more days ahead. I was a long way from being done with THE BRAIN BLEED , which is really a STROKE . Life was never to be the same as I knew it. I am thank ful I survived, but my life was changed for evermore.

Did I mention what blessings I got after the ....

Did I mention what blessings I got after the surgery.

NORMAL BLOOD PRESSURE

NO RINGING IN MY EARS

Two big presents and I try to remind myself often of how wonderful these gifts are.

Not to mention my life...

aone day I went golfing with Bruce before the...

One day I went golfing with my friend Bruce on a vacation. I tried to act normal, golfed ok and had a good time. The truth is my brain is going what time is your flight? When I got back to the hotel room I kept walking around, afraid to sit or lay down , fear of flying... I walked around the room for awhile, ordered room service, ate while I was walking and eventually felt confident to sit down and then lay down to rest.

If I told my friends what I was doing they could not begin to understand why or what I was doing.

You have to live it to really get it.

But, after the surgery that fear went away.

I have to pull out the Tawanda in me...

I have to pull out the Tawanda in me sometimes when I feel like I have no powers. Tawanda comes from a movie named "Fried Green Tomatoes", make sure you see it. Tawanda starts as a housewife with no powers and she learns from her yoda in the movie to find her Tawanda.

Everyone needs a Tawanda inside of them. Learn to use her as needed. She won't let you down.

The permanent roller coaster ride...

I am on the permanent roller coaster ride. It is at kiddie land speed now, but I feel motion when I l

turn my head. It can be anything I am doing and I will feel it. For instance, getting into the car , leaning over and straitening myself up can cause the motion.

Fortunately, I am having fewer and fewer high speed roller coaster ride. I use to have them anywhere and now I only have them when I am in bed sleeping. I must be lowering my head to much or trying to turn to the left which doesn't work for me , and then the ride starts. The last one I had was in December 2011,I could feel the ride starting which gave me a little warning time to arouse my husband. He put his legs around me, held my arms and off I went. I can't see anything except white and can feel the speed of the ride. No wonder I hated going fast since I was a child. Hated to go fast on anything which most children enjoyed with wild-eyed wonderment.

No frequest flyer miles on this ride.

I wonder if they make seat belts for beds???

Since I have had the surgery a year ago....

Since I had the surgery a year ago I have been left with some souvenifs. My left eye does not blink so I have to constantly patch and repatch every 3 hours. My face was distorted, but looking better, my balance is off and I have BPPV. BPPV for me means I can only turn to the right, can't look straight ahead, no peripheral vision to the left, cant look straight and can't lay flat. My doc who specializes in dizzyness thinks it is because the crystals in my ears fell out during the surgery;

I am looking into seeing what I can do about this...

I don't have to wonder what it is like to sky dive...

I don't have to wonder what it is like to sky dive, because I have been free falling for 7 years now.

I don't quite get what people see as the "Fun" of it.

Maybe because when I do it I go all the way down and back.

Oh, they probably would think that is extra exciting.

I'm a girl always on the move...

I am a girl always on the move. Even when I am sitting anywhere, I am still moving . Could be right to left, could be forward or back ward....

I am always moving.

Psychodelic double vision at my age?

Psychodelic double vision at my age? Now I know what my friends were experiencing when I was in college. And, now I have to deal with it at 58? At least my friends who were doing drugs were enjoying it , I guess. For me, it's been the ultimate nightmare.

Who knew I was going to join Circque de Soleil...

Who knew I was going to be joining the Cirque du Soleil. Because I can be sound asleep and all of a sudden start spinning so fast that I need my husband to hold on to me. Otherwise. I will fall out of bed and have to grab something , holding on for dear life. On second thought, maybe the circus freak show might have more need for me. It is quite something to see.

With the help of therapy I am getting through....

With the help of therapy I am getting through my PTSB. I am relearning how to take more control over my life after so much dependency on my husband and friends. I practice driving a little bit every day and I have a rear view mirror which is as big as a couch. I let myself try more things and know when I need to stop and rest , take a nap. It is a whole new balancing act. I have learned to forgive myself when I can't remember something that was just said or names which I was always excellent at.

I am adjusting to not going on some family trips and staying home which is much more comfortable for me. I can't walk along time, be out for endless hours, ride a bike, hike, etc. At first you feel sad for yourself, and then you are just happy to be as far as you are on the journey back to health.

Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome arrives...

Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome has arrived now that it has been a year after the surgery.

I finally get out of the red zone and then I have memories and fears of the day of the surgery and the month after surgery twirling around in my head. It is a good thing I was so drugged and didn't realize how bad my face looked. I had always been know for being a pretty girl with soulful eyes... Now my face was distorted and for the first time in my life I didn't want to be in a photograph.

G-d sure has his or her ways of keeping you humble...

It's been a year since my surgery so I decided....

It's been a year since my surgery so I decided to have a Vertigo Party. Vertigo has been such a scary thing to me I decided to look at it straight in the eye and celebrate my survival. I taped a bunch of songs like, I'm so Dizzy, Double Vision, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Riding on a Carousel, etc.

I served eyeball punch and then we watched Vertigo. By the way, it really isn't about Vertigo, it is about a fear of heights. Vertigo must have been too hard in that genre to demonstrate on film.

It was actually a thank you party to all the special people who had helped me in the last year after surfery and also the 6 years before of life after my big mama brain bleed. As I mentioned before, I had had bleed since childhood. Good thing it didn't get worse until they invented the MRI machine and surgeries to save my life and many others....

Another new book title...

A Stroke of Luck, another new book title

How is this for a title for my book?

How is this for a title for my book? I went to Hell in a Handbag inn 60 seconds and it is 7 years later.

Or, I'm too old for psychodelic trips, I just want to stop flying without booking a reservation@