I am feeling so good about having the eye surgery....

I am feeling so good about having the surgery done.

I was afraid that I would have a spin, or not be able to lay flat on the table.

But , all was well...

Unfortunately, I had another spin last night.

Why?

I worked hard on breathing through it, not fearing it as much, trying to remain calm.

My husband was there to hold me fortunately.

I hate it. I want to stop having these attacks.

I am sound asleep and I wake up flying faster than a speeding bullet.... You can tell the generation I came from. I don't want to be Superman or Supergirl. I want to sleep peacefully and not fear going to bed at night as I will tonight...

Today I am having eye surgery...8/28/12

Today I am having eye surgery to repair some of the collateral damage from my brain surgery.

My left eye does not blink , so I have to tape it every 2 hours, and put tear drops in my eye every two hours...

The doctor put a tiny gold ball under my eye lid so my eye can blink , can sleep at night without taping it and hopefully won't have to tape it as much....

I was so nervous about the surgery since my last surgery was the brain surgery. I was still fighting damage control from the brain surgery as I have mentioned before in my book...

But, I picked the right doc and the staff was perfect.

I had the twilight meds which made the surgery painless and I was awake while the procedure was being done! Amazing!

I was talking to the doc and the anesthetist during the surgery, simply amazing...

What a relief to have the surgery done.

I am black and blue for now, looking forward to how this will improve the quality of my life...

After seeing my new shrink, I started taking....

After seeing my new shrink, I started taking my increase in meds... For the very first time, I overdosed myself for 4 days... No wonder I didn't feel good, but at least I realized what I had done and got back on schedule..

Goo0d thing I noticed because I am having eye surgery next week...

Switched to a new shrink...

Switched to a new shrink, my previous shrink retired, or I wore him out!!!!The most amazing thing about my visit with my new doc was the amount of empathy he gave me for what I have endured with a brave face...

He just kept saying wow, and wow, and wow.

He read about my surgery , he listened, he felt my pain which brought me to tears...

Usually, I can get by without tears after all these years.

So, he changed my drugs a bit and we will see...

And, I had another spin in the middle of the night.... Awful...

After Monday night's spin I am determined to...

After Monday night's spin I am determined to find out why this is happening. I made a phone call to a friend who is a neurologist/epilepsy specialist. Who reassured me that what is causing it is nerve damage from my brain bleed/stoke. And, the reason it happens at night is positional, that if I don't keep my head elevated enough that I can start spinning. I have to make sure that I am propped up enough so I won't slide down while I am sleeping. Gee, I wonder if they sell seatbelts for beds?

How come no one ever explained that to me before???

I can cope so much better when I know what it is......

I have been spinning out of bed again lately.....

I have been spinning out of bed again lately. It is soooooooo frightening I can't begin to describe the sensation. My husband holds me until it pasts which helps me feel not as scared and to protect me from hurting myself. My husband thought I was done and got up to go to the bathroom and bam, I started flying down to the center of the earth. I crashed to the floor and hung on to the bed.

He came back and helped to calm me down. I am panting and can't move because I still am spinning. Like aftershocks.

It can make you crazy.

THen, I am afraid to go to sleep at night for awhile and have to take half a xanax until I finish licking my wounds.

Awful.

I talked to my friend the other day....

I talked to my friend the other day and she told me about plans for her block party with her neighbor. They planned to get it organized when my friend got back from out of town. When my friend got back she found out that the 48yr. old woman had died of a brain aneurysm....

Itis so easy for me to forget how lucky I am to be alive.