Sunday, October 7, 2012

Since I went to the new shrink and told him...

Since I went to the new shrink and I told him that I can be sound asleep and wake up flying faster than a speeding b ullet I have gone a month without spinning out of bed. He suggested that I take one xanax at bed time and that seems to calm my brain down enough so I have gone a WHOLE MONTH with out my spinning episodes...
What a treat to go to bed and not FEAR waking up to the flying through the walls, the not feeling my body, scared out of my mind.
I am thank ful for every new pice that I get in my journey back to as much wholeness I can get out of my life.
It still amazes me that when I try to describe my flying episodes that most people can't imagine the sensation my brain is sending out to me.
I don't know how I have survived so many episodes of this sensation.
I mostly have to say THANK YOU to my husband for helping me when it happens.
He holds me tight until it passes and then I have to calm down for an hour.
Then , it is back to sleep...

Yes I can't...

When I was in college I remember reading a book about Sammy Davis Jr. called Yes I Can.... The book always inspired me after reading about the racial prejudices he endured in the army and the 50s and 60s...
Chapter after chapter he kept believing that he could overcome anything, thus the title of his book was "Yes, I Can"...

But , honestly, I think I would title my book Yes, I can't .... Meaning I will always say yes, but a lot of times my willpower is saying NO, not one more day...

But, deep down I know Sammy is right, it has to be Yes, I  Can everyday...

Thank you, Sammy....