How important the right pillow is..

How important the right pillow is. Because I cannot lay flat physically, I bought a pillow from a specialty bed store and bought this pillow that makes me sit upright as much as possible.
I also have a problem of waking up from a deep sleep and start flying spinning... So ,my husband discovered that my problem was positional. Once I started using the pillow the night spins were reduced. I still get 1-2 a month. They are awful. I hang on to my husband for dear life ,often falling out of bed when it stops I am panting Ike a dog , my heart is pounding, and I often go fetal for at east a hour before I can get up.... Then I spin in bed for awhile before I can go back to sleep.
Then the next day I fee depressed,worried about the next night

Today is Sat.,march30 and thiß is the first night...

Today is Sat.,March 30, the first time in 2.5 years that I went out to dinner at a busy restaurant and I could take me patch off for a period of time. I did it twice! Progress is such an incredible feeling!!!!!!

You notice I keep calling it a brain bleed which it was...

You notice I keep calling it a brain bleed, but it w a stroke. I just don't like to call it that..I t is more vague when you describe it to people....

One trick pony, one trick table..

One trick pony, one trick table...my kitchen table became a nightmare for me after my brain bleed.
When we ate dinner I always felt like the table is moving and I am moving too ? I became so edgy at dinner,we often had to eat on the couch in the sun room I was like Harry potter, never knowing what was going to move next. I started to hate the table!!!! If I wanted to be Harry potter I would have signed up for magician,s school....

P is for permanent...

P is for permanent ...of course, you start by hoping it will go away. You keep waiting and waiting. You just can't imagine these life changes are going to be forever.THen, you start bargaining with G-d ,all o f a sudden you are praying that they will go away.... You keep waiting for it to go away... Then hen that doesn't work you start accepting that this is the way it is going to be ,stop being sorry for yourself and count your blessings for what you do have going for ya
What a long process this has been since my brain bleed happened 8 years ago and the surgery was 2.5. Years ago. I can see why people find de-Nile such a comfortable location to stay in...
But, p is for permanent ....

When we went to New York one weekend...

When we went to New York one weekend ,it was the beginning of my walking Down the

city streets
Which has bee challenging because of all the visual stimulation. My daughter held me on one aide and my husband held me on the other side, the only thing I can compare it to is walking through a sandstorm... Everything was a blur, I had to rely on my husband and daughter to direct me, besides getting to those oh so murderous curbs... It was like walking through a sandstorm...
Now I know how it must of felt trying to walk during the dust bowl...

I had a weight put in my eye surgically....

I had a weight put in my eye surgically to make it shut better. After the surgery my left eye would not shut at all so I named him big eye since he was always right out there making a sight for sore eyes. Ha,ha...
So, now my eye looks more normal ....
I still have to patch it shut a lot because my eyes don't work together ...
But, it is much better since I had the weight put in...

Àlways call your mother and always call upon the sick and aged..

Always call your mother and always call upon the sick and aged.
You have no idea how much it helps to hear from a friend, or send an email if possible....

I live for those who didn't,t make it..

I live for those who didn't,t make it.... So many people don,t get a chance to make it to the hospital in time, or live in a country where they can,t get the care or can't afford it...
It is really thanks to the MRI inventors that saved my life.
When I was young I had no idea why I felt dizzy or flew out of bed. I think of all the people who died before me and didn't,t even know what was wrong with them. Not to mention the families who didn't know why their loved ones died.
So, when I get better I hope to help others who struggle with brain bleeds and gun shot wounds like Gavin Gifford .
Wen I think I was strong getting through this, Gabi leaves me in her dust...

Today was the most I have managed on my own....

Today was the most I have managed on my own without help. Had early breakfast with Dad,, then grocery shopping, then swim class,made lunch for my Dad and myself. Made phone calls,then drove to get my watch fixed,finally.
Then, came home,rested and prepared dinner.
Phew.
It felt so good to do it on my own.
Then,worked on massaging my head which worked out pretty well.

My head hurts, my neck hurts, my face hurts everyday...

My head hurts ,my neck hurts, my face hurts everyday...
The worst pain is the top of my head at the top where they must of put my head in some sort of a medical vices.
It has been 2.5 years and it still hurts
It is better, but it still hurts.

After the brain bleed I could not take my eye patch off...

After the brain bleed I could not take my eye patch off for a second because it was looking down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon..
I would feel dizzy,scary ,felt like I was flying to the bottom of the canyon..
It would be quite awhile before I could take my patch off for a little while...
Be patient, it did get better.
But, honestly, it was pure hell...

Spin city arrives again....

Spin city arrives again... It,s been awhile ,maybe a month and then it happened... I woke up, had a second before it started ,started breathing and then I was off to outer space... But, this is the first time I breathed through it along with my husband grabbing me... Then , it started again, I breathed through it again while my husband held me. Unpleasant, but better...
Then, I get the blues...
Why is this still happening?

Before my surgery I had constant ringing inone ear...

Before my surger I had constant ringing in one ear... If you ever want to lose your mind,try ringing i your ears for several years... It is like having the tv playing I your ear all the time..
The day I had my surgery it stopped,like a miracle... Also, my high blood pressure had disappeared... Another miracle...
So , listen to your body, my body was trying to tell me that it needed help.
My body was giving me warning signals that I wasn't listening to.
Please listen to your body, never hesitate to go to your doctor...

When a doc prescribes meds to you...

When a doc prescribes meds to you, make sure you tell him what else you are taking, it also won't hurt to read up on these drugs so you know as much as possible...
Also,when I start a new medicine I often take only half to make sure my system agrees with the medicine...then ,after a week I will increase to the full pill...
I can't tell you how many times a medicine hasn't agreed with me, so I had to learn the hard waya...

have started cranial sacral treatments to heal my body. Since my surgery 2.5 years ago....

Have started cranial sacral treatments to heal my body. It is a little hard to explain,you have to be open to what I call touchy freely work. But it is helping to take me headache pain away and to get my body to turn left and to work on laying on my back. So far ,so good.
My body had been on red alert for so long ,I am now working on getting my body to let go of the pain and the fear which has been so I ingrained in my body...

Patching my eye turned into a big deal....

Patching my eye turned into a big deal...when this started 8 years ago with my big brain bleed...
It was so scary to accept that my eyes no longer worked together and discovered the world of patching.
When I was in the hospital the doc used several layers of gauze pads and then he taped it...
The nurse was giggling in the background letting me know she could fix it so it would be more comfortable.then I used breathe rights in the verticals position for quite awhile. I also used a pirate patch which was way uncomfortable. Hated the strap which hurt my head,it stuck out too much so I could not see much to the left. It was kind of like an eye bra. Wore that forever. Then I switched to tape which felt like I was ripping my skin off all the time,constantly putting it on and off all day. Frustrated beyond belief.
Then one day ,after eight years , I was getting dressed in the locker room and a lady looks at me and she says. Get yourself to Walgreens and buy an eye bandaid... Bingo!!!!
Wow,after eight years, I got it right....
Unbelievable....

Besides the almost accident,my flying out of bed,did I mention...

Besides the almost accident,my flying out of bed, did I mention my gargantuan headache I had on Tuesday... Three events in one week , not my best week.
The day of the headache it started with adult pain, and then whammy, my head wouldn't stop throbbing.. It was the debilitating variety,couldn't move all day. My poor husband had to bring me dinner in bed. Sigh.
Frustrating week...

Eleven minutes...

I drove to the gas station and pulled out without noticing the new concrete median which I drove over ,driving the wrong direction and pulled off as soon as possible. This was my first major driving faux pas and felt sick to my stomach about it...
I got out of the car and saw big black shoes, looked up to see a police officer and immediately broke down...

Fortunately, the officer took heart and I explained I only drive locally and usually not by myself.

My lesson? Only right turn and left turns only through stop signs...
Safety is number one..

After calming Dow n I went to swim class, lasted 11minutes ,realized I was too upset to swim and. Went home...

Another flight,really??...

Another flight,really? I don't understand why I am sound asleep. And wake up feeling like I am flying. My husband tried to grab me, but I fell out of bed while spinning.... You feel like you are out of your body.. Thr only thing was that it was milder or I am getting use to them... I could get up after a short while when before it could take an hour or so...
So unpleasant...
I don't get to know why, just guess... Maybe did too much, maybe used the computer too long,etc...
My real guess is that my brain is still healing...
I didn't moan about it,put it in the back of my mind and had a usual day...