I am beginning to realize...

I am beginning to realize this is how it is going to. Be. For the longest time you think you ar e going to be done someday... It has been about ten ears, 2.5 years since surgery, out of the red zone. But now it is the acceptance zone that I had not put that much thought that I am now in the permanent zone.

The whole point of the cranial sacral...

The whole point of the cranial sacral is to increase my range of motion that I lost from the surgery.

Went for crànial sacral massage...

Went doe cranial sacral massage . After I had my brain surgery ,as mentioned before, there are certain positions that still make me dizzy. I are can't lay to the left, can't lay on my back,can't turn my head if I am laying on my back elevated,etc. I can't explain why, you would have to ask my brain.
So, it is slowly getting better , but when I work with the massage therapist she is trying to get my body do what it use to do..
She did a great job, got my head to turn to the left three inches more.. It was scary because I could go off into a spin., but she talked me through it and made some progress.
It only felt like I was having an exorcism. I was sweating,shaking afterwards.
As the day wore on, I felt better, relief...
In the morning I had a small spin which I hadn't had in awhile. I am sure my brain was saying,now you want me to do what? Haven't I been through enough.?
So, today I was a a little headachy, but ok....

P

Happy Mother's Day Mom....

Happy Mother's Day, mom... Miss you... It seems like you have been gone forever, but don't worry... I remember everything, what a wonderful mom you were...
When I had to go for surgery, I felt your presence, pushing me,reassuring me everything was going to be ok...
And sometimes when I was struggling I felt you pushing me through, and sometimes you had to bring Grama too for extra help too..
I am thinking of you and remembering you. And Grama too...

We are like dogs...

We are like dogs, people with issues,disabilities, whatever you want to call us--we can smell,sense when you ask, care ànd if your concern for us is real or memoreck..
You aren't fooling us. We know...

Last night we went to the movies...

Last night we went to the movies and once again realized I look at people differently.. I use to look at the kids, the couples,etc. now, I look at the wheelchairs,the aids feeding their clients at a restaurant, the very hardest is young children in their wheelchairs wishing they could run and jump like the kids they are watching...
I widows with their friends using their walkers trying to put on a good show. But, I know they are remembering the good old days which we all tend to take for granted .until one day we are one of Thea others, the outsiders. Remembering....

Yesterday I went to the neuro-ophthalmologist ....

Yesterday I went to the neuro ophthalmologist for Botox shots for my head. He explained that the reason I was having so much pain was from the nerves in my skull. My head has been aching everyday since the surgery. Actually ,hurting more as time went by.
I hope this will give me some relief from the constant throbbing and pain....

It has been 2.5years since the surgery...

It has been 2.5 years since the surgery and I decidedtocoe out of the closet .
I put my actual picture of how I look on Facebook
It's liberating,freeing,feels good