Thanksgiving spin

It was Thanksgiving and I had been feeling pretty good. So I went shopping with my daughter and her fiancé and all of a sudden I felt like I was flying through the windshield. I reminded myself that this has happened to me many times before, and I did not want to tell them what was happening to me. So I told myself that you could just cope with it, breathe, it has happened before , and then I took a Xanax....and it was a while before I fell well enough again. So we continued our shopping I still was edgy but I knew I could make it without sharing the experience with them. But what puzzled me was that hadn't happened in a long time and why did it happen today....


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Myofacial

I would like to tell you what myofascial pain means, it's a pain in the facial tissues around the muscles of the head.  I have been recovering for 2 yrs.  I have had more head pain than earlier on  my recovery, so now my head hurts every day and I have tried acupuncture. I have tried massage and I have also been using Botox shots in my head to help relieve the pain. Of course I'm taking a lot of medication to go on my daily activities. Meanwhile m head still hurts everyday.


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Check your medications to be sure they are correct.

I did eventually figure out why I felt like I was flying through the windshield that day. I couldn't imagine how this could happen to me again after months and months of being okay. So, it occurred to me to look at my meds which I get in a blister pack and I noticed that the meds were not correct. It was such a relief to know that it was a drug screw up and that I wasn't getting sick again. And then i was so angry that the pharmacy could not package my drugs correctly! i was out of sync for about a month because i would never doubt the pharmacy... i called the pharmacist who makes the blister packs for me , and sure enough the meds had not been placed in the right pockets and that's why I felt sick again. I can't believe that the druggist could give me the meds wrong, so take it from me always 

Check your prescriptions to be sure they are accurate .

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It's time!

Hello my name is Nicki Milin and I want to tell you the story about my cavernous angioma. Which is a brain bleed located at the steam of the brain before I had the surgery. I was asked to drive my friend to her doctor appointment. As I was driving I all of a sudden blacked out which scared me to know and  I pulled over in disbelief. It was made  clear to me that the time had come to have the surgery. I called Stanford and asked if they could make the surgery sooner which they did by a week.  I have my husband quickly make plans to get to Stanford California for the procedure on my brain. I told people that I'm going to have the surgery, but most of the time it scared me more with their stories & comments. I decided to isolate my self and prepare myself to what's  ahead of me. I can't allow fear to swallow me. I need to do what need to be done. I won't let the doc describe how procedure will be. It was really important to me to not show signs of fear to my love one. I want to show them that I was strong to face the surgery. In all honesty,  I was terrified. 

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Going home and my Dad is not there...

Going home for the first time and my Dad is not there, I cried.

So empty.

It doesn't feel right to look through his things....

But we are family...

I moved from sad to feeling my parents loving arms wrapped around me.

So lucky to be loved.

My Father passed away...

my father passed away and I will miss him dearly. He was my rock, always supportive of me and I was lucky to spend so much quality time with him.... I wrote a general note and started to write  personal notes on each one... It take long before I got dizzy and had to stop .. I realized I had to switch to just sensing my generic note and asked for help in addressing the labels... I had hoped that 3.5 years after the surgery that I could do this. But here is where the acceptance part comes in. I can't ...

Time for the serenity prayer once again