Hard to turn me neck, get dizzy...

Hard to turn my neck, get dizzy. I have been working with a masseuse who is familiar with cranial sacral work... She knows how to massage my head which is also still sore from the surgery which was almost three years ago. We are working on getting my range of motion back which is mostly about turning my neck while lying flat. This is very difficult to lay flat and to get my head to look straight up. Week by week we work at it, then the next step will be to turn it to the left. Turning left gives me dizzy/vertigo so I work at it slowly. Be sure you work with an experienced  masseuse . Go slowly. Go slowly. Go slowly...

Say hello in there to the others...

Say hello in there to the others. So many times I see people who know me who don't even ask what happened.... 

That's why I love kids, no matter where I am kids always stop and ask me what happened to my eye or my face...

Don't ever forget to say hello and how are you?

I wasn't perfect at it either so no blame,just always learning to care more.

I'm like the ball in a pinball machine...

I'm like a ball in a pinball machine. Through this whole recovery and before I feel like I have bounced from one direction to another. Different docs, physical therapy, massage for myo-facial pain from the surgery, trying Botox for skull pain, migraine pain, going to the psychiatrist to manage and try different drugs to give me for energy, less head pain. It is a revolving door, always trying different things, needing different help as I recover. Acupuncture.. You name it i have been there. Gluten free diet.

It all helps, but there has been no flow to my recovery.

I hope in years to come as they learn more about the brain, I hope help will go more smoothly.

I was lucky to be saved as I am a pioneer in this type of recovery.

I hope by writing this I can help others and future generations cope with brain aneurysm  such as mine.

Being in the stem happens to not be so common , effects vestibular issues ,etc. so complicated. 

As a matter of fact I got a call from my surgeon three years ago and he asked how I am doing. My answer?half better, half worse.

One weekend we went to DC ....

One weekend we went to DC and it was the most walking I had attempted yet. I was doing ok   But it was like walking in a sandstorm . I had somebody from the family hold me on each side because we were ib Georgetown which was crowded and the streets were crowded 

...

Now I know how Lawrence of Arabia felt everyday...

Five stages of recovery.....

Five stages of recovery , just like five stages of death..

First, denial. Who can believe when they tell you need brain surgery. I couldn't hear what he said, I just pictured Frankenstein anad the bowl on his head with the electricity buzzing... You cànt believe the doctor is talking to you. It is a process to take the information in. De Nile , your first stop.

Anger-how did this happen to me?? Why me??? Life will never be the same. I'm scared. Shock..

Acceptance -after the initiàl shock and time , there comes acceptance. It takes a lot of time,support and love to get to acceptance ...

Making he most with what you got. 

Who knew how imp. Eyebrows are, every part plays a role...

Who e ver knew how imp. Eyebrows are, and every part of your body is ?????

My left eyebrow didn't close after all after my surgery, had to tape it closed on and off, and use gel constantly...

I used breathe a right strips to close my eye , pirate patch, tape,etc.

So, I had surgery and they put a piece of titanium or something in my lid which helped my eye to blink but not quite.

Then, I had surgery on my bad eye where they sutured it up and now my eyes are even, now there isn't so much whit under my left eye showing so it is protected, and my eye blinks better.

Not perfect.

But, I don't have to patch it at night, just use gel.

I can use left glue during the day which is nice.

My eyesight is a little better, maybe...

Little disappointing, but no regrets.

I just believe it is better and cope with this is maybe as good as it gets.

I can still see...

But, now I know how important eyebrows are....

How come today I had a spin??...

How come today I had a spin? I have a cold, but out of the blue, I have a spin..

I remained calm, took a Xanax and on with the show...