This is my new normal...

This is my new normal... I can't believe it has been 9 years since my life changed forever.. Nobody really does. I have been toughs, joked about it, laughed at my fears, been fearful, cried and now I am the acceptance part. It is not what I prefer... Of course I am great full, but I want my life back. No, didn't  I jus say I was at acceptance?! Well almost...

My neighbors had to hold me...

My neighbors had to come over and hold me sometimes when I felt dizzy or a vertigo siege coming on... The room would start spinning, my heart would be spinning and I would call them. At first. They wanted to call an ambulance because it was so scary for them...

I told them no, but to please hold me, hold my hand in case I started my vertigo dance. The vertigo dance is not one you want to learn. You feel out of control,you start fish flopping and I am afraid I might hurt myself. So she would just hold my hand, talk to me, just being there as I was flying, spinning,whatever the dance of the day would be....

Oh, and did I mention I always take a Xanax which helps tremendously...

Eventually, it passes, survived another vertigo dance....

Why the giant headaches?????!!!

Why the giant headaches???? It has been 2.5 years since my surgery and now I am having big headaches. Is this part of the healing process, is my brain regenerating after the surgery, is it the scar tissue , is it skull pain, myo facial pain, cranio sacral?'

 Didn't have headaches before I had the brain bleed, and not after the brain bleed. In those days I suffered from severe vertigo....

11min.s and the near accident....

11 min.s and the near accident. Things can happen so quickly. I don't drive very much,just close to home, to the drugstore, to the gym. 

But, I stopped at a gas station and turned lest to go home, not realizing that the intersection had changed. They had put up concrete to make turning lanes , I turned left ànd was half on and half odd the concrete, going the wrong direction and knew enough to get off the road.

As I was getting out of the car , looking down I saw two black shoes and I knew I was I trouble.

I explained to the officer that I was. Recovering from a brain bleed, didn't drive very much and had a handicapped stičker.

Fortunately he took mercy on me and just warned me to drivè carefully..

Phew!!!!

New rule-- I can only turn left through a stoplight at all times!!!

The first time some friends took me to...

The first time some friends took me to the mall was a scary experience for me. I was anxious,scared of getting dizzy, scars of freaking out.

It was so nice of my friends to invite me out, they had no idea what was going through my mind.

Thr lights, the crowds, everything thing was so overwhelming to me..

Lol

The disappointment of not hearing from...

The disappointment of not hearing from some people is disappointing. Fortunately, my list is pretty short.

 My list of hearing from people who you didn't expect to hear from is much longer and touched my heart.

People don't realize how much it helps to hear from people.

Our society is getting to use to just sending an email.

Nothing replaces the human voice and the human touch.

My war wounds ...

My war wounds still remain. My face is better, I had some eye surgery to help my eye blink and to even them out. My face looks so much better from the surgery. I still look I have Bell's palsy  which I don't truly have and a smile like Popeye minus the pipe. People ask me about getting it fixed through plastic surgery and I have decided to never get it fixed. It is my war wound, just like Harry potter has a star on his forehead, I have my Popeye smile... I bet Popeye had a brain bleed too. No wonder he always was smoking his pipe , today I take pills. I have a lot more respect for Popeye then I did before...