I promise to be strong...

I promise to be strong, even when I don't feel strong, I promise to be strong.

I promise to be strong, I come from strong stock, from poor immigrants who turned their lives from lemons to lemonade.

I promise to be strong in honor of their memory and I promise to be strong to honor myself.

Even on the days that I feel lousy, have a headache, feel woozy, feel edgy, feel scary, I promise to be strong.

I promise to be strong to honor my husband and my children.

I always want them to think of me as being strong...

I remember watching Natalie Wood in...

I remeber watching Natalie Wood in the movie where she sings I am so pretty, I am so pretty...

NOw, in a sarcastic and kind of funny mode, I would like to change the words to I'm so dizzy, I'm so dizzy. She danced around the room with her dress and now I am flying around the room feeling vertigo, light headedness, etc.

Believe me, Natalie Wood's performance is much better than mine!

My name is Nicki and I have selected a hip hop...

My name is Nicki and I have selected a hip hop name after hearing so many...

So, since I have an eye issues, I have selected Nicki I...

I actually got the idea from the Black eyed peas guy whose name is Will I Am...

So, it is kind of fun to be 57 and have a hip hop name.

So, hello from Nicki I....

When I was a little girl I remember this lady...

When I was a teenagerl I remember this lady named Bertha. She was a very likable lady, but I thought it was so weird that she always had one eye glass shaded and never knew why.

It occurred to me the other day, that now I am like Bertha. And, I wonder why she had to have her eye patched, but I never asked her why and how she managed seeing with one eye.

I now walk in Bertha's shoes...

Remembering Arthur Ashe...

I always think of Arthur Ashe when the U.S. Open is playing in New York. At the same time I had a blood transfusion for an ectopic pregnancy, I was aware that Arthur Ashe had a blood transfusion for some procedure. But, unfortunately he did not survive and I was fortunate enough to survive.

I have survived several medical issues and am thankful that I survived the ectopic surgery, I sure wish Arthur Ashe, the tennis star had survived also.

Remembering this episode makes me appreciate surviving, and it gives me courage to survive my cavernous angioma.

It also makes me think that I tend to be a bleeder and it might be related to why I have brain bleeds In years to know, they will have more answers.

Meanwhile, I remember you, Arthur Ashe...

My daughter was visiting from London....

My daughter came to visit from London and my Cavernous Angioma Alliance membership pins had just arrived in the mail. I wasn't sure if she thought it would be dorky to give her one, or I guess fear that it wouldn't be meaningful for her, but, here is what happened.

I gave her my extra pin and she embraced how meaningful it was for me and she told me she will wear it on her purse everyday.

It was very meaningful to me ...

I still want my Mom, but she gave me the skills...

I still want my Mom , but she did give me the skills to cope with life and deal with whatever life gives you. Her mother and father came to this country to escape the Cossacks because of our Jewish faith. They worked hard and my grampa died of an appendicitis in his 20s. Can you imagine?

So, my mother grew up very poor, worked hard and was the first in the family to graduate from a University, in Economics no less...

So, she was scrappy, smart and tough as nails.

When my Mother was dying she gave me her final lesson , how to die with dignity and grace.

NO arguing, no negotiating with G-d, acceptance.

I was lucky to have her and now I carry her in my heart wherever I go.

Thanks, Mom...