It was time for the operation....

The morning had arrived and a calmness came over me.

I knew I would do better being calm than anxious.

My daughter had been playing the son, I can see clearly now which helped me immensely to thing of the future and of being better.

We went to the waiting room and immediately a guy said I looked scary with all thesee things sticking out of my head.

I moved away from him.

Then , I started thinking about the doc and hoping he had a good nights rest , that he was happy that the San Francisco whatevers had won the baseball tournament.

Then,they called my name and I taken to a room filled with beds and people putting on their hospital gowns for their surgeries.

The anesthesiologist came in, read my chart, and informed me that I was going to have nausea

after the 8 hr. procedure.

Thanks!

I did beg him to put me out before I was taken to the operating room and fortunately he did.

I was out.

I stayed calm getting to California for my surgery...

I stayed calm getting to California for my surgery until I go to California!!! Now, we were talking the real Mc Coy. I went through my tests, met the doc and would go back to the hotel room and I felt like my feet couldn't douch the ground My legs were swimming, I would be ok for awhile and then I would freak out.

THe night before surgery was time for the breakdown. I was so scared.

]When I woke up the next morning, I was calmed because I knew this was it.

I had to wait a week to have my surgery...

I had to wait a week to have my surgery. What a long week. People calling, most of them scaring me to death. So, I stopped answering the phone. Hiding out is good for the nerves sometimes. I kept picturing the operating table and trying to get on the table without having a heart attack.

It played over and over in my mind.

You can imagine the feeling of packing your bags to go to sunny California to have brain surgery?

I don't know how I remained so calm.

I was taken to the closest hospital...

I was taken to the closest hospital where the doc determined that I had had another bleed.

I wanted to go home because I knew I was having surgery next week.

The doc convinced me to go to NOrthwestern in downtown Chicago and that I must stay awake or maybe never wake up again.

So, I waited quite awhile before the ambulance came to take me downtown which took forever.

Then, a million tests and a million questions.

Now, I was getting scared.

I stayed 2 days and then I knew I was off to Stanford Hospital for brain surgery!@!!

It sounded so scary, I could only picture Frankenstein and the movie scenes ....

It was now or never.

The garage scene was one scary moment...

Before I had my surgery and I could tell things were getting bad again (another bleed), I had gone out for the day and had to pull over since my vision getting going out on me. But, I decided I wanted to get home and not have to ask somebody to come get me again!!!! I was about 5 miles from home and I drove one block at a time, pulled over and had to rest. I was determined to make it.

I use to take this drive home for granted, but not anymore.

I stopped and I stopped and went another block and stopped again.

Finally , I made it home.

My husband was home and I then told him how scared I was. We faced each other as we slowly walked into the house, holding me firmly so I would not fall and for reassurance.

Then, it was time to call the ambulance....

My eyes are much better now...

My eyes are much better now, but they still have what I call jumping vision. When I look at things

they kind of jump around.It sure beats double vision and it is amazing what you can adapt too.

My left eye is starting to twitter which I hope means it will start blinking again. I can see out of it, but I have to patch it every 3 hours so it won't dry out. I hope it will start working again.

My son went lugging yesterday...

My son went lugeing yesterday and I thought that is a good description of how I feel when I am flying. That fast, just not on the ground...