The first weeks of my brain blog

Now I have a diagnosis, have the privilege of understanding what happened to me. At first the doc said it would be 6 months , s0 I thought I would survive 6 months and then back to the old me.

Most of my time was spent sleeping, venturing out a little bit with friends and my husband. It was like learning life all over again. My first trip to the grocery store was freaky--noisy, too much light and worst of all I felt like an invalid. Needing help to walk in case I lost my balance. Having difficulty reading labels. After several weeks I tried going to the health club which was totally scary-- when I walked in I wanted to go home. My husband helped me to conquer the fear of being there and I just sat on a bike just to get the feel of it. I was really scared. Couldn't wait to come home. Some friends would come over for dinner or bring meals, or just sit with me while I slept.

There were some very special people who were there for me constantly and I will never forget those days. Going out to dinner was extremely difficult, the noise , the lights. Our friends got use to go to the early bird special if you wanted to eat with us . Too noisy otherwise. After the first month I went back to work. Going back to work was the equivalent of just sitting there and listening to other people interact. I was just really pretending...But, my biggest fear was the fear of becoming full of fear-- I had to go and do no matter what. I couldn't let myself give in to IT.