My neurons are still confused since surgery...

My neurons are still confused since the surgery. It is hard to turn my head to the left without feeling dizzy. I can a little bit and I know it will continue to get better.

I can't lay on my left side because that would put me into a spin.

I went for P.T. and she had me lay to the left side for 4 min.s and I had an awful spin.

So, now I do my own P.T. , I work at it slowly.

I've been othered...

I have been othered... Once you have a medical problem that changes your life, you are othered. You are a train wreck, you are a gaper's block, you are never the same.

You feel that people think of you differently, some people don't want to ask when it is obvious by looking at you that you have had something happen to you.

You hear people laughing in a restaurant and you are not going to break out in a big laugh like that.

Probably not.

Your life has changed for evermore.

Still thankful to be alive.

NO matter how you try family issues ...

No matter how you try family issues rise up when you are sick and your family is healthy.You can get edge, feel left out because you can't do all the things that they can do, you slow them down when you are with them. You get crabby at them and they certainly have reason to get crabby with you.

You sometimes feel abandoned, alone, like an invalid (in valid), awful thoughts.

Your kids are upset because you are not well and it changes your plans, vacations. They can get angry even if they understand.

Your husband is tired of doing everything.

Friends and relatives wonder why they havn't heard from you for so long.

This is not for the weak of heart.

I am doing so much better, but sometimes I can't

I am doing so much better, but sometimes I just can't stand it. I think I can't do it one more day. But, I really know I can. I just get so sick and tired of it. I know there are much more horrible things, but I get so tired of it...

I am starting to drive...8/24/12

I am starting to drive a bit. Practicing in parking lots , off hours, just in the neighborhood.

I have to patch my left eye all the time.

I am getting a tad of confidence at it.

I am asking my doc for a letter that says I have permission to drive.

And, I am going to take a test at a local hospital who offers tests that are not processed through the motor vehicle dept. It will make me feel better to take their test.

Myt double vision is improving...

My double vision is improving. I am keeping my patch off more and I believe it is helping my vision. I still have to converge my vision, have ghost images, etc. But it is getting better.

I swam across the pool for the first time....

I swam across the pool for the first time and could continue to go back and forth for a bit.

Up till now I would just swim pretty much in one spot, but now I can go back and forth . It was a little uncomfortable at first since I suffer from vestibular problems and movement would make me nauseous, but it is better! It is still hard to swim to the left, but I am getting better at it everyday.

I tried working with a physical therapist and they went way to fast for me, so I am better going slowly at my own rate....

I am going for acupuncture and I think it is....

I am going for acupuncture and I think it is really helpful....

I recommend that you try it if you have some bells palsy like symptoms...

Today I tried electrical stim that they put in the needles. I hope it works.

I can already see some lines returning to my face, so once she gets the lines backon my face then I can have them removed for beauty purposes! Ha,ha!

When you are ready join the Cavernous Angioma...

When you are ready join the Cavernous Angioma Alliance for support. At first, I couldn't join because I couldn't face the fact that I was part of this group. Denial. It took a long time before I would even look for the site.

What a mistake.

Having support and sharing info with others is very therapeutic.

Don't wait like I did.

My family is leaving for Alaska tomorrow...

MY FAMILY IS LEAVING FOR VACATION TOMORROW. THEY ARE GOING TO ALASKA FOR AN ACTIVE TRIP OF FLY FISHING, CANOEING, CAMPING, ETC. I AM HAPPY FOR THEM AND IT IS A NICE BREAK FOR THEM AFTER ALL THEIR HELP WITH MY ISSUES.

IT WILL BE A GOOD EXPERIMENT FOR ME TO BE MY MYSELF AND MAKE MY OWN PLANS. LUCKILY, I DO HAVE SOME HELP IN THE MORNING AND PLAN TO GET A LOT OF THINGS ACCOMPLISHED.

IT'S DIFFERENT, BUT GOOD.

I always have to remind myself...

I always have to remind myself when I am feeling better to not push. Every time I push and start planning too much in a day I get in trouble. Like yesterday.

First of all, I walked the dog with my daughter , then went to lunch and then downtown to see a performance of "The Million Dollar Quartet". My husband dropped me off which we thought was the right place and all of a sudden, I am in the middle of a street fair and we keep walking the wrong way to the theater. So, we finally make it to the theater and the music was WAY to LOUD for me. I suffered through, took a xanax. Even though I was over tired I stayed and didn' listen to my body!!!!

I was toast the rest of the day, I was afraid I was going to have a spin and overall pretty miserable.

LIsten to your body...