I have been post traumatic . Earlier on when I was in the red zone and just focused on surviving my brain surgery and recovery, I thought some day I would be done.
Well, now the reality of never being done has taken it's toll on me. I am impaired. And, yes, I am thankful I survived, BUT.....
So, I can be irritable, crabby, vulnerable, touchy, give into human frailties, a lot of bad human qualities.
So, my family has had to bear the brunt of it. I can't let the world know, I have to put my good face on for them and be strong and be a role model for others and I know so many have suffered so much more.
So, dear family, I am sorry for mis behavin'... I don't mean to but I know I do.
Thanks for loving me no matter what.
I will continue to strive to get to acceptance , so not my style, but I have to take my boxing gloves and accept the new normal.
I love my family and friends and the others who have given me support through my shit days...
It causes me deep pain that I have this anger that lands on your head.
Please forgive me .
I love you.